Mental Health

What Does Grief Feel Like?

Diane Carbo

13 Sep 2023 — 13 min read

When words fail, emotions speak

What is Grief?

Grief is a natural response to loss. It is the emotion we feel when something or someone we love is taken away. Grief can come from the death of a loved one, the end of a marriage or relationship, the loss of a job or a move to a new place. We all grieve in different ways and for different lengths of time.

What Does Grief Feel Like?

Grief feels different for everyone, but there are some common emotional and physical signs that accompany the feeling. Grief can be an intense emotion, with feelings of sadness, helplessness, guilt, anger, and confusion all at once. Grief often leads to changes in eating and sleeping patterns as well as an increase or decrease in activity.

Other physical signs of grief may include feeling tired or drained, having headaches or stomachaches, and having difficulty concentrating. Emotional signs can include feeling numb, feeling overwhelmed, feeling disconnected and isolated from others, and feeling a lack of joy in life. Grief can also bring up spiritual struggles such as questioning one's faith or feeling lost or abandoned.

It's important to note that grief is not one-dimensional—it can impact all parts of a person’s life, both emotionally and physically. Everyone experiences grief differently, and it may take some time for a person to recognize how they are truly feeling.

One of the key components of grief is recognizing its physical signs. Grief can manifest itself in a range of physical symptoms that are important to recognize and acknowledge. Common physical signs of grief include exhaustion, sleep disturbances, and changes in appetite.

Exhaustion
When grieving, one may feel drained and exhausted from the emotional strain. It is important to prioritize rest and allow yourself as much time to emotionally recuperate as needed. If you find yourself feeling tired on a consistent basis, it is a sign that you may be struggling to cope with your feelings and need to give yourself time to rest.

Sleep Disturbances
Grieving can also cause sleeping problems such as insomnia or difficulty staying asleep. Struggling to sleep can be a sign of emotional exhaustion and an indication that you may need to take a break from the stress of your emotions. Additionally, spending time outdoors and doing activities such as yoga or meditation can help to relax your body and mind and make it easier for you to sleep.

Changes in Appetite
Grief can also cause changes in appetite. Loss can lead to overeating or under-eating as a way to deal with emotions. During this period, it is important to focus on eating nourishing foods that will provide energy and help keep your body healthy. Eating balanced and healthy meals can help to reduce emotional stress and give you the energy and strength to cope with difficult emotions.

The physical effects of grief can be quite severe and if they become overwhelming, it may be necessary to seek professional help. Talking to a therapist or counsellor can help to identify underlying issues and assist you in finding ways to cope with your emotional pain.

Emotional Signs of Grieving

Grief is an emotional process, and it’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed by a range of emotions. One moment you may be feeling deep sadness and the next, you could be feeling anger or anxiety.

Sadness: Sadness is the most common emotion experienced when grieving. The depth of sadness can vary from person to person.
Anger: Feeling angry is a normal part of grief. People often experience anger at those around them as well as themselves.
Guilt: Guilt can accompany grief, especially if the person is not able to help the one they are grieving for, or if the person feels they did something wrong in relation to the situation.
Anxiety: Anxiety can come with grief. People may be anxious about their own safety, or how they are going to manage without the person they are grieving for.
Fear: Fear is common when you are grieving, particularly if the death was sudden or unexpected. Fear can also come from feeling scared of what the future may hold without the person who has died.

It is important to acknowledge these feelings and understand that it is normal to experience them. It is also important to know that these feelings will pass in time. It is also important to recognize that no two people grieve the same, and everyone's experience of grief will be different.

Reaching out to friends and family, seeking counseling, or joining a support group can help those who are grieving. Talking is often the best way to express emotions, and talking to someone who understands can provide comfort and assurance.

Spiritual Signs of Grieving

Grief can be a stressful and overwhelming experience. It can also have a deep spiritual impact. Spiritual signs of grieving may include confusion, feeling disconnected from your faith or beliefs, questioning the meaning of life, and feeling a sense of emptiness. You may also feel overwhelmed and find it difficult to understand why something has hurt you so much.

For many people, grief is strongly connected to their spirituality. It is a reminder that life is precious and that it should be respected and valued. When someone dies or there is a significant loss, people often reassess their spiritual beliefs. They may reflect on the ways in which they previously connected to their faith or spiritual practice. They may experience an increase in their religious observances, search for deeper meaning within their beliefs, or find a new faith.

Grief can also cause believers to question their faith. They may wonder why their beliefs or faith did not protect them from pain or why bad things happen to them. These questions can lead to a crisis of faith or a spiritual awakening. It is important to remember that questioning your faith or beliefs is normal during a time of grief.

Questions about life's meaning
Confusion or feeling lost
Feeling disconnected from your faith or beliefs
A crisis of faith
An increased desire for religious observances
Searching for deeper meaning
A spiritual awakening

It is also common to feel a sense of emptiness while grieving. You may feel as though you are missing a vital part of yourself or that life has no purpose without the person who has died. This sensation of emptiness can be a sign that you need to explore further what your spiritual beliefs or practices mean to you. Talking to a spiritual leader or counselor can help you work through these feelings.

How to Recognize Different Types of Grief

Grief is a powerful and personal emotion that can take many different forms. Recognizing and understanding different types of grief can be essential to navigating the grieving process effectively. It can also help you to find comfort and peace as you move through the healing journey.

There are four main types of grief: acute grief, complicated grief, traumatic grief, and chronic grief. Each type of grief is unique and will require its own approach to healing. Below we will discuss each type in more detail.

Acute Grief

Acute grief is a normal reaction to significant loss. It is usually intense and short-lived, lasting anywhere from a few days to several weeks or months. Common symptoms of acute grief include feelings of shock, disbelief, sadness, guilt, and loneliness. We may also experience physical symptoms such as insomnia, appetite problems, fatigue, and headaches. During this time, it is important to practice self-care and to seek support from family and friends.

Complicated Grief

Complicated grief is a more complex form of grief. It involves a prolonged period of intense and disabling emotional pain that does not seem to subside over time. It often involves an inability to come to terms with the loss, which can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, anger, guilt, and despair. Although some individuals may eventually reach a sense of acceptance, others may struggle for years to come.

Traumatic Grief

Traumatic grief occurs when a person experiences a violent or unexpected death. In addition to experiencing the same reactions as acute grief, people who experience traumatic grief may also suffer from recurrent thoughts and memories of the event, flashbacks, nightmares, and intrusive images. These symptoms can persist for months or even years and can be very distressing.

Chronic Grief

Chronic grief occurs when a person is unable to adapt to the death of a loved one. This type of grief can last for years, and can involve a range of psychological and physical symptoms. People who are suffering from chronic grief may feel overwhelmed by their emotions, struggling with guilt, shame, and hopelessness. They may also have difficulty with concentration, engagement in activities, and overall daily functioning.

Recognizing and understanding the different types of grief can be beneficial in helping you to cope with the pain of loss and to find peace during the grieving process. If you are struggling to manage your grief, don't hesitate to reach out to a professional for help.

Helping Yourself through Grief

Grieving is a normal and natural process, but it can be a very challenging and emotional time. Fortunately, there are strategies you can use to help yourself cope with the pain of loss. While everyone grieves in different ways, these strategies may help you better manage your grief and find some peace.

Express Yourself

Expressing your feelings during this time can be a powerful way to acknowledge your grief and help you move through it. Writing about or talking about your loss can be beneficial. Journaling, talking to friends or family members, or talking to a counsellor can all be helpful. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone, simply writing down your thoughts can be helpful.

Give Yourself Permission to Grieve

When grieving, it is common for people to feel like they should be able to put on a brave face and not show emotions. Instead, it is important to give yourself permission to grieve and feel sad. You should also remind yourself that it’s ok to take it one day at a time and do your best to look after your emotional and physical needs.

Practice Self-Care

Self-care is essential during the grieving process. Make sure you prioritize your physical and mental health. This might include getting sufficient rest, being mindful about what you eat and drink, and engaging in activities that support your overall wellbeing. Exercise can help too. Even small steps like going for a daily walk can have a positive impact on your mood and energy levels.

Seek Professional Help

It is important to realize that grief affects us all differently. If you find yourself struggling to cope with your grief it may be beneficial to seek out professional help. A therapist or counsellor can assist you in learning new ways to cope and adapt.

When to Get Professional Help for Grief

Grief is a difficult emotion and can be overwhelming to experience. It can have a significant impact on our health, both mental and physical. This is why it is important to pay attention to the warning signs of when it is appropriate to seek help from a professional.

Some signs that might indicate you should seek help include:

Experiencing intense or prolonged distress
Feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope with daily life
Lack of progress in recovery after three months
Having suicidal thoughts
Increasing substance abuse or use of medications

If you are having any of the above symptoms, it is important to seek help from a mental health professional. They are trained to help people through difficult periods of grief and can offer strategies and tools to help you cope. A mental health professional will be able to assess your situation and provide individualized support and advice.

It is also important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone experiences grief differently and there is no set timeline for when you should seek help. If something doesn’t feel right or you feel like you need additional support, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Understanding the Grieving Process

When it comes to grief, it can be difficult to understand the range of emotions and experiences you may have. Grief is a natural response to losing someone or something you care about, and everyone responds differently. The grieving process is never the same for any two people. It can take weeks, months, or even years to fully process your emotions.

Grief can come in waves that can sometimes feel overwhelming. You may feel sadness one moment and then anger or guilt the next. It’s important to remember that these are all normal feelings during the grieving process. It’s not uncommon to experience a roller coaster of emotions during this time.

As you process your grief, you may also experience a variety of physical sensations. These can range from feeling drained and exhausted to feeling numb all over. Your body’s response to grief can also manifest as a lack of appetite, insomnia, headaches, back pain, and other physical symptoms.

Grief also affects your ability to think clearly and make decisions. It can feel like your mind is racing with thoughts of the loss, and your concentration and focus can suffer. You may have trouble focusing on tasks and completing projects.

It’s vital to understand that grief is a journey and no two paths are the same. It takes time to work through each stage of grief, and it’s important to give yourself the time to heal. Allow yourself to grieve and feel the range of emotions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

Understanding Complicated Grief

Grief is a normal and natural response to loss, but when it becomes complicated it can become more difficult to manage. Complicated grief is an intense and persistent form of grief that lasts far longer than the average grieving process. It can be more difficult to cope with and require professional support to understand and work through.

Complicated grief can present itself in a variety of ways including feeling numb, ongoing intense yearning for the lost loved one, difficulty accepting the death, or avoidance of anything related to the deceased person. It's important to remember that complicated grief is different from normal grief and requires special attention in order to heal.

It can be helpful to seek professional help if you are experiencing complicated grief. Therapists and counselors are trained to provide the necessary support to those who are struggling to come to terms with their experience. Professional treatment is often necessary for those suffering from complicated grief, as it can take time to cope with the intense pain of loss.

Talking to someone who understands how grief works can help make sense of the experience and bring relief. Having a qualified therapist to talk to can also provide the coping tools necessary to move through the process of healing. Additionally, joining a support group or taking part in activities that honor the memory of the deceased can also be beneficial.

Although complicated grief can be a difficult and uncomfortable process, finding the right support will allow you to heal and move forward. Understanding your own needs and seeking out professional help when needed can lead to a healthier, more positive outlook on life.

Knowing You Are Not Alone in Your Grief

Grief can be an isolating and lonely experience. When you are feeling overwhelmed by sadness, it is easy to believe that no one else has ever been in your shoes. It can be difficult to see the light when you are in a state of grief, but you should know that you are not alone in your pain.

Though everyone’s experiences with grief are unique, there are several people who have gone through similar emotions that you are feeling right now. Over time, the collective wisdom of those individuals can help you understand that your feelings and thoughts are not strange or unusual. It can be an immense relief to discuss your grief with others, as it can be therapeutic to express yourself.

It may be hard to talk about your grief with friends and family, or it may be too painful to open up. In these cases, seeking professional help can be beneficial. Speaking with a counsellor, therapist, or grief group can make a tremendous difference in helping you cope with your grief. Additionally, there are countless online resources to draw information from.

No matter how alone you may feel, know that it is perfectly normal to experience grief. It is an integral part of human life. Take solace in knowing that you are not the only one feeling this pain. There are people out there who are willing to listen and provide support.

Practical Tips for Coping with Grief

Grief can be a difficult experience, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone and that there are things you can do to support yourself during this time. Here are some practical tips for coping with grief:

Allow yourself to feel your emotions. Try not to bottle up your emotions, as this can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety.
Practice self-care. Make sure you are getting enough rest, eating healthy meals, and engaging in activities that make you happy.
Spend time with loved ones. Talk to friends and family about your feelings, or just spend time with them doing something soothing.
Write down your thoughts and feelings. Writing can help you express yourself and work through your emotions.
Seek professional support. If your grief is overwhelming, consider talking to a mental health professional to get additional support.
Memorialize your loved one. Find meaningful ways to honor your loved one’s memory, such as making a scrapbook or planting a tree.

Remember that grieving is a natural part of life and that everyone grieves differently. It is important to give yourself the time and space you need to heal. If you incorporate these practical tips into your life, you will be better prepared to cope with grief.

Grief is a difficult experience that can be hard to understand, and even harder to talk about. Unfortunately, grieving is a process that we all eventually have to go through in life, whether it's the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or another type of painful setback. While grief is a natural part of life, it can feel overwhelming and can take a major toll on our mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.

Understanding how to identify, process, and cope with the various facets of grief is essential for getting through this difficult experience in a healthy way. This guide has provided an overview of the many signs that grief can take, from physical and emotional to spiritual and complicated. We've discussed how to recognize different types of grief and when to get professional help. And we've looked at some helpful tips for managing and healing from grief.

Though grief will never be easy, knowing that you're not alone can help you get through it. Lean into your support system, acknowledge your pain, and give yourself the time and space that you need. With the right tools, you can start to restructure your life and find peace amidst your grief.