Spousal Caregiver Seeking Support: When Love Fades in Caregiving
understand your struggles as a spousal caregiver. It’s common to feel overwhelmed and judged, but know you’re not alone. Consider caregiving as a job that needs breaks. Family support is crucial, so don’t hesitate to ask for help. Your well-being is essential to continue providing care.
When a spouse hits the burnout stage of caregiving
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Question Asked By Betty, a Spousal Caregiver I do have some questions. I’m not like most caregivers. I no longer love or sometimes like, the man I am a caregiver for. He is my husband. I need to find ways to deal with this. My children, 32 and 34, especially the 34 year old doesn’t think I care well enough for her dad. He has a beautiful home, lots of food and treats, clean clothes.i take him to all his appointments, I just don’t love him.
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Dear Betty, My heart goes out to you. You are not alone in feeling this way. Many caregivers experience resentment and anger due to the constant demands of caregiving. It’s important to remember that you are human and have needs too. It's common to face judgment from uninvolved siblings or adult children. Being a caregiver to a spouse is incredibly challenging. The transition from being lovers and friends to full-time caregiver is difficult. Many spousal caregivers neglect their own needs to provide 24/7 care, which is not sustainable. Consider viewing your caregiving journey as a job. Think about it: a job comes with breaks, vacations, and days off. You need time to refresh and renew your spirit. Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Many caregivers feel like failures if they do, but it’s healthy and necessary to take breaks. The statistics for family caregivers are alarming. The chronic stress of caregiving has led to 63% of family caregivers becoming seriously ill or dying before the person they are caring for passes away. Stress can literally kill. "Amidst the challenges of caregiving, remember that your strength, love, and dedication are the greatest gifts you can give to your loved one and yourself." I recommend having a family meeting. Explain that you need and deserve a break. If your children think you are not doing an adequate job, they should be able to relieve you regularly. Request that they cover at least two days a week. If they cannot, they should contribute funds for a paid caregiver.
More on options when you are a spousal caregiver
Other options include putting your spouse in adult day care or hiring an aide to help. You are managing the house, cooking, cleaning, laundry, paying bills, and attending doctor’s appointments. Your adult children should help with these tasks. They need to step up because you are the most important part of the caregiving equation. Without you, everything falls apart.
I see caregivers like you every day, and I know how real the stress is. It's essential to take time for yourself. You are at the point of burnout, so it’s time to reach out for help. Explore options to get the time you need, plan a long weekend away, or take a week-long vacation. If your children don’t help, they may end up caring for both you and your husband.
Please feel free to reach out anytime. As a caregiver, you are on a noble yet challenging journey. Today, I’m excited to introduce you to Caregiver Guided Imagery for Relaxation. This tool is your ally in finding peace and resilience.
Why is Caregiver Support Essential?
Caring for a loved one is rewarding but comes with stress and burdens. You might experience emotional and physical exhaustion, feelings of isolation, and difficulty balancing caregiving with personal life. These feelings are normal but manageable.
Guided imagery is a technique that uses your imagination to induce calmness. It offers many benefits:
Stress Reduction: Lowers stress levels, essential for your well-being and effective caregiving.
Emotional Resilience: Enhances emotional strength to cope with caregiving challenges.
Improved Sleep Quality: Promotes better sleep, crucial for your health.
A Moment for Yourself: Provides a break, a moment of tranquility in your busy schedule.
As an experienced nurse and family caregiver, I understand the challenges caregivers face. My mission is to support you through these challenges. I will be sharing techniques and insights to help you incorporate stress management and mindfulness into your routine. Remember, caring for yourself is not a luxury; it’s a crucial part of your caregiving journey.
Warm regards,
Diane Carbo RN
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Have a story about the challenges of providing care for your spouse? Would like to share here? Help others realize that they are not alone.Submit Your Caregiver Story
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Do you need help caring for a loved one? Our Resource section can help you find the information and tools that you need. We have courses, videos, checklists, guidebooks, cheat sheets, how-to guides and more.You can get started by clicking on the link below. We know that taking care of a loved one is hard work, but with our help you can get the support that you need.Click here to go to Resources Section now!
Diane Carbo
