Moving Aging Parents: Navigating Downsizing - Insights from Ed and Minnie's Journey

"Ed" and "Minnie" are moving to a retirement and care community after living in their home for 35 years. They are facing the challenges of condensing their lifetime collections from a large house to a smaller space.

Moving Aging Parents: Navigating Downsizing - Insights from Ed and Minnie's Journey
Guiding parents through transitions

In the context of contemplating the transition of aging parents, let's delve into the lives of "Ed" and "Minnie." For an impressive span of 35 years, they've been fixtures at the entrance of our cul-de-sac. At the venerable age of 84, grappling with health concerns, their once-spacious abode has become an unwieldy burden. Consequently, they've embarked on a journey to a nearby retirement and care community – a choice fraught with challenges. The process is further complicated by Minnie's affinity for delicate and fragile items. Glass, crystal, and china hold her heart, alongside her skillful china-painting endeavors, adorning her collection with her own creations. With time's measured cadence, their furniture and cherished possessions find their way to the new abode. Yet, it's an uphill task to transform a lifetime's treasures from a sprawling 3,000-square-foot dwelling to a more modest 700 square feet.

This week heralds a fresh chapter in their journey: the moving sale.

Under the behest of a neighboring acquaintance, Minnie finds herself entangled in the services of "Shannon," her neighbor's daughter. Tasked with orchestrating a sale of the surplus items, this decision triggers concerns among us and fellow cul-de-sac residents. The cause for concern? Shannon is levying a 35% commission from Ed and Minnie, a steep figure compared to the local standard of 20% to 30%. To justify such a rate, a substantial grasp of antiques and fine art is imperative, coupled with the ability to accurately price items.

Minnie's reservations about the valuation of her cherished possessions are confirmed.

Shannon organizes a "preview" sale for her network of contacts, spanning real estate and antique enthusiasts. Curiosity piqued, I attend to assess the proceedings. My evaluation prompts a candid conversation with Shannon, during which I voice my belief that Ed's prized longhorns are undervalued by at least $100. In our bustling tourist area, these items are hot commodities, often fetching significantly higher prices. Shannon's response, however, is rather matter-of-fact: her priority is expeditious disposal, rather than meticulous valuation. Subsequently, Shannon's mother confides in me, sharing her hope that Minnie won't find herself disheartened by the sale's outcome. She admits her concern that Minnie might have inflated expectations, oblivious to the intricacies of such sales.

A poignant anecdote involving Minnie's exquisite crocheted bedspread ensues – an item for which she paid $250.

I chance upon it among other crocheted and lace pieces, prompting me to inquire about its price. My estimation hovers between $100 and $150, taking into account the laborious hours invested in its creation. However, Shannon's revelation leaves me flabbergasted: it's priced at a mere $5. In a blend of astonishment and empathy, I pay the requested sum, now a proud owner of the bedspread for my guest room. In this moment, my heart aches for Minnie and Ed.

This narrative evokes memories of my mother's downsizing journey.

Guided by my eldest sibling, an "estate sale" company, recommended by a church acquaintance, navigated the process. While they honored their commitment to emptying the house, the outcome fell short in terms of value. A striking example is an antique Duncan Phyfe mahogany dining set, complete with 6 chairs and a buffet cabinet, which fetched a mere $150. Although I'm unable to quantify its market value precisely, it certainly exceeded this meager sum.

The adage that "an item is worth what someone will pay for it" holds true, yet context matters.

The belief that downsizing allows for the recovery of initial purchase prices is a common misconception. However, not every avenue aligns with this hope. A sale encompassing all, managed by an individual focused on quantity over quality, will not yield desired outcomes. It's imperative to discern that selling antiques or fine art demands specialized expertise. Opting for dealers or galleries well-versed in these domains is crucial. Conversely, engaging with businesses specializing in generic "estate sales" or "moving sales" mirrors hosting a clearance garage sale – emphasizing volume over value.

In a touching twist, Minnie's refusal of additional payment for the bedspread reflects her sentiment.

It serves as a poignant acknowledgment of my possession and underscores her appreciation for my assistance in their transition.

For those who've navigated similar moves or downsizing experiences, sharing your journey can provide invaluable insights.

Your anecdotes offer a wealth of wisdom, guiding those embarking on similar paths. Remember, embracing a new setting entails both triumphs and challenges, along with the moments of beauty they yield.

Have a Story About Moving Into a New Setting?

Sharing Your Story Helps Others.

Tell Us The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!

And.. the Beautiful, Too!


You might also like this article:

Regretting Elderly Parent Care? You Are Not Alone
One family caregiver shares her experience of feeling exhausted and guilty after moving her elderly parents into her home. Learn about the realities of caregiving and options for support and respite care to maintain your own health and well-being.”
10 Tips for Dealing with Difficult Aging Parents
Being a family caregiver for an aging parent can be challenging and emotionally taxing. Here are 10 tips for dealing with difficult aging parents and taking care of yourself in the process
How to deal with difficult aging parents
It can be difficult dealing with elderly parents that struggle with making the best decisions for their situation, especially if they refuse assistance or advice. It is possible to communicate effectively
Unlock the Secrets to Caring for Elderly Parents with Ease
Discover key insights into elderly care with Unlock the Secrets to Caring for Elderly Parents with Ease. Learn practical tips to manage their health, understand emotional needs, and navigate the challenges of aging with compassion and patience.