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Grieving the Loss of an Infant or Child

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facing our own mortality

There is no footprint too small to leave an imprint on this world.

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Grieving the loss of an infant or child is one of the most profound losses a person can have. It goes against everything in nature to have a child die before the parent.  This loss forever changes you. A piece of your heart and future is lost when you lose a child.

So many parents say the feel as if they “have a hole in their heart”. Many parents question if they will be able to continue on with their own life and survive this pain. They question their own purpose in life.

Some parents blame themselves for the loss of their child. No matter what the circumstances of the death were… thinking that “if I only…”   You may feel plagued with thoughts of things that you may have missed. Or the the doctor may have missed.

Some parents experience anger… at a spouse, a health care professional, or question their own faith and spirituality. Parents feel  socially isolated and alone.. as friends and other family members feel uncomfortable and uneasy at the flexion of grief … and sadness the parents may be feeling.

Most want to be supportive but really do not know what to say or do to ease the pain.  Over time, most friends and family members just want things to go back to “normal”.

It does not mean they these people care less about you or your pain. They just cannot relate to the loss you are feeling. No one can.  It is so important for you to focus on healing. To share your grief and sorrow with others that offer unconditional support. You must avoid those that you feel are judgmental or critical of your grieving process.

Each parent will handle their grief differently. It is important that you both accept that there are differences and find a way to compromise. Remember, you both are hurting and need support.

There is help here. Please feel free to share your thoughts and feelings with others that have lost an infant or child.

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Sweet little flower of heavenly birth, you were too fair to bloom on earth.

Sweet little flower of heavenly birth, you were too fair to bloom on earth.

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