A Time for Grieving and Healing, A Caregiver's Story

A Time for Grieving and Healing

Today, I saw a man that looked just like my dad. He was dressed in nice clothes but they were now too big for him. I saw a handsome gentleman with a silver beard but his face was so slim. He smiled at me but the corner of his mouth didn’t rise naturally anymore.

The man had beautiful blue eyes, but today they didn’t pierce my soul with unconditional love. He spoke of wanting to go somewhere but couldn’t tell me where he wanted to go. A precious treasure of his mother’s I took to him, but he looked at it and had no recollection of where or whom it belonged. Inside the box, he found a picture of his mother, but he could not remember if she was alive and well or dead and gone.

In 6 short months the physically changes in my dad are so apparent but the mental changes in him are magnified as well. Gone are the days of him asking what have I been doing or about my kids? Gone are the tender moments of him talking about his grandma and grandpa. Gone are the days of him asking for opinions on a project he had started. Never again will Daddy tell me to sit on his knee so that he can pat my back and tell me everything is going to be okay.

Tonight I realize that, time doesn’t heal anything; it just teaches us how to live with the pain. It is my prayer that our hearts find the time to accept what our minds cannot.

The Grieving Process

Grieving my father 's condition is just part of the grieving process that I must go through. I lived with anticipatory grief. That means I have already started my grieving process, before my dad passed. Many caring for a family member with dementia will experience anticipatory grief years before their loved one passes. The early stages of grief started the day my dad received his diagnosis.

My grief journey was an overwhelming process. The emotional roller coaster never ends. To those who are grieving, take heart. In time you will find your own way to cope and make peace with your loss.

When Do You Seek Professional Help

In my early stages of grief, I didn't feel angry or feel anxious. I had very strong feelings of intense sadness over the thoughts of a death of a loved one. I felt such deep emotional pain. I tried managing grief by ignoring my intense emotions.

I was encouraged to seek professional help, long before my fathers death. I learned that what I was experiencing was ambiguous loss.

Ambiguous loss is a loss that occurs without any type of closure or clear understanding of that loss.. This kind of loss leaves a person searching for answers. This complicates and delays the process of grieving, and often results in unresolved grief.

My father had dementia. He was changing before my eyes. I experience grief when caring for my dad that no longer knew who I was. My grief was a natural response. I want people reading this to know, that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. What I was feeling was completely normal.

Asking for help from friends and family members can be difficult but it's important to have people to lean on during this time. For caregivers grieving their loved ones, remember that you’re not alone. Reach out for support from other caregivers who understand what you're going through.

The Grieving Process is a Natural Process

Take care of yourself during this grief period- join a support group. Get grief counseling or attend support groups available near you. Take small steps towards healing by acknowledging the pain and being kind to yourself throughout the grieving and healing process.

Allow yourself to feel the pain, take it day by day and remember that grief is a journey that takes time. Eventually, you can find peace in your loss and cherish the memories of your loved one.

What is Healthy Grieving?

The stages of grief can feel never-ending, but with time the grieving process can help us find a new sense of normalcy. Every one grieves differently.

The grieving process is personal and individual experiences may vary. With patience and understanding, we can eventually learn to cope with loss and find a way to live again. Remember you are not alone.

Healthy grieving is an invaluable process that encourages us to face the emotional symptoms of loss and grief, in order to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves. We all experience our grief process differently. Every human goes through this journey at some point. Through letting go of our enduring connection which gives our lives identity & meaning, healthy grieving facilitates healing. It also provides relief from the symptoms of grief and pain caused by past events or painful memories. As such it should be embraced with open arms!

What is Grief Shock?

Following a major loss, grief shock can be an intense and complicated reaction. It's the body's way of protecting us from too much pain early on by numbing us to it. This may present itself as complete detachment or endless tears. Shock typically passes within days or weeks but its effects will vary greatly between individuals. As soon as the fog lifts, we begin feeling grief more strongly; however, know that you are not alone in your experience no matter what your reactions might look like!

Share Your Sorrow, Write to Heal

In His Love -Melonie

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

A Caregiver's Loving Tribute to a Father That Passed Away

Reluctant Caregiver? Do You feel as if God is Challenging You?