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Episode 34 – Pastor Dave Taylor MAC, M.PaC Kelly Taylor MAC – Faith in caregiving. Learn abut how we are addressing the caregiver crisis

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Pastor Dave Taylor MAC, M.PaC Kelly Taylor MAC – Faith in caregiving. Learn abut how we are addressing the caregiver crisis

Diane Carbo: Hi, this is Diane carbo, RN of caregiver relief and care team partner.org. Today’s podcast will bring you pastor Dave Taylor and his wife, Kelly. They bring a very unique perspective on faith and caregiving. Dave is a pastor, a nurse and a social worker, and he is heading. We’ll be co-director of our facing caregiving program on care team partner.

Diane Carbo: And if you haven’t already signed our petition to create a national strategy to address the caregiving crisis we are facing in this country, please visit care team partner.org today.

Diane Carbo: Hi, this is Diane carbo with caregiver relief in the now launched care team partner.org I have with me today. Kelly and Dave started.

Diane Carbo: Yeah, well, and that’s okay. The teams that they’ll still recording. Yeah. Hi, this is Diane carbo with caregiver relief and care team partner. Today I have with me, pastor Dave Taylor and his wife, Kelly. They are co-directors of our faith and caregiving program at care team partner, Dave and Kelly. I’m so excited to have you here too.

Kelly Taylor: Hi, I’m excited to be here.

Dave Taylor: It’s a real blessing to meet with you today. Blessing. Well,

Diane Carbo: Full disclosure. I met Dave and Kelly and they were working on an outreach program. And one of the things that impressed me about Dave and Kelly is number one, Dave was a new. And he’s been a social worker as well, and now he’s a pastor, so he, and they both have worked in healthcare and they walk their talk as far as their faith and they’ve done a lot of outreach programs and so.

Diane Carbo: And actually approach them to join care team partner and head up our faith and caregiving program. I was excited that they joined us because I don’t think I’m going to find this combination ever again. I’m somebody who not only understands the caregiving aspect of it, but the faith aspect, as well as the social resources that are new.

Diane Carbo: So, thank you and welcome David Kelly. I want you both to share a little bit about who you are, what you’ve done and what brings you here.

Dave Taylor: Okay. Well Kelly and I Well, as you said have come from a diverse background of experiences. Kelly grew up in, and I both grew up in different Christian denominations.

Dave Taylor: And she was a Mennonite and I was a Methodist as children and growing up in the, in the church. Both the boss saw something though in each of those things that I think is applicable to. Going on here with care team partners, we saw how both of our faith gatherings they ministered to it’s aging.

Dave Taylor: Okay. And, and the families through all kinds of things in life illnesses loss of mobility, chronic diseases, even death. And they did it in a way that was dignified. And they came alongside to, to help in every aspect that they could and to be a part of this type of body for us of believers has always meant being.

Dave Taylor: A member of family non-related by blood but together by a common faith and a belief system that causes us, causes us to care for one another as we’d want to be cared for. And really for Kelly and I, that is been the the drive for our entire life, whether it be in. Healthcare nursing or social work or counseling or the pastorate, everything has been driven towards the dignity the person the person centered care of people and the development of resources.

Dave Taylor: So that’s why. Care team partners is really a great fit for us because we feel that we can connect people to best or network of those types of resources, especially in like their, their face settings.

Diane Carbo: I have been doing this for many, many years, David, and as, as a caregiver professional in private personal caregiver.

Diane Carbo: And one of the things that I have always had a problem with is so many of my caregivers come to me and their churches have let them down. I’ve heard so many times, in fact, Beverly Powell on our team very strong Southern Baptist, went to her church and was denied any help. They’ve just ignored her cries for help have reaching out.

Diane Carbo: And again, we have a Betsy Wurzel whose husband had as another part of our team who reached out to her church. And was once again, disappointed with the response. And I don’t know if and I’ve, I’ve personally seen with a lot of my, when I did case management my, my, the elders in the church have given they’ve tied.

Diane Carbo: They, you know, whatever their religion believed, you know, oh, you’ll get into church. If you ties and you do all this stuff, whatever they believed they were still let down by. They’re faced and those members of their community w as they aged and needed help. And one of the things I’m not sure of is that if the churches or the faith based organizations, and, and one of the things you wrote about recently in one of your articles is we’re talking every face.

Diane Carbo: We’re not, we’re not excluding any faith-based organization at all. We’re here. To build a community and create a community that cares and has volunteerism is as it’s focused to help, we have a two national caregiver crisis right now in our country. The aging seniors are what we have. We’re pear shaped the, the aging seniors now are the biggest population in global.

Diane Carbo: And we don’t have youth to provide care. So one of the things that. Prompted me to even look into starting care team partner was that I’m, I’m doing all this research. And 15 years ago, when I started care, give a relief. I was shocked that the statistics were 50% of all family caregivers that provide care for somebody with dementia, dies or become seriously ill and unable to provide care for the person that they’re taking the care received.

Diane Carbo: Before the person dies there. So everything they’ve gone through to keep that person at home and to take care of them falls apart because they are no longer able to provide that care. Shocking to me was to find out that that statistic because of the caregiver, stress and burden is now 63% of family caregivers.

Diane Carbo: That’s like, holy, wow. You know, this caregiver, stress and burden is very real. And then the other crisis we’re having is the direct care workers poorly paid. Most of them have two jobs. Most of them are on public assistance. And now with COVID, they’re leaving by droves and we need those individuals to help provide care in the future.

Diane Carbo: So our goal and people question me, why, why would you do a face in caregiving? You know, that’s one thing you shouldn’t talk about is religion. Well, and I’m a recovering Catholic. I make that perfectly clear. I’m not an overtly religious person, maybe spiritual, but I do feel that our faith based organizations need to step up to the plate and provide support.

Diane Carbo: In a way that they have not done before they owe it to the seniors in their community that have given of themselves that have participated in a church. Financially contributed if, or if not financially contributed, they’d certainly contributed by going to programs or helping with programs and stuff in the church.

Diane Carbo: So, Dave, I really I’m excited because I I’ve asked you to head this up and you and Kelly and. And you’ve developed a program for us that we’re going to be implementing. So I’d like for you to share a little bit you and Kelly, to share a little bit about what you see this program doing and how you want to see it unfold.

Dave Taylor: I think, I think the best way to do that, Diane really is for me to just speak for a couple of moments into what you just spoke about, but I want to precursor it was something in that is that you mentioned about how oftentimes people say really shouldn’t talk about religion when we’re talking about this or that or caregiving.

Dave Taylor: And really, I think that is a Stumbling block. It is a mist. It’s a misguided notion because although the, the latest statistics on these things are that over 80% of all people associate themselves with some sort of faith. Okay. Yeah. Coming from a holistic point of view, which is way the way good caregiving has done.

Dave Taylor: You’re you’re addressing the physical, you’re addressing the mental, the emotional why would we leave out the spiritual? Because that’s spiritual to them is. Sometimes everything, you know, and if we take that component out, we’re robbing them of something that is deeply emotional to them. So that’s kinda what drives us is that we want to come at this from all aspects and not take anything that could potentially give them the best quality of life.

Dave Taylor: Whether it be a healing or it be improvement or it be just with dignity, walking into a, you know, the next stage, which sometimes can be death.

Diane Carbo: Yeah. Yes, exactly. I went to nursing school 50 years ago. In those days, it was a holistic approach. And we did address the spiritual side. And as we’ve moved on in healthcare, everything is no more holistic.

Diane Carbo: It’s all specialized. So that, that spiritual side is getting overlooked. And I firmly believe that we need to bring that back. Because people desperately need support and hope. And w when they’re looking for something they, they go back to their religion, religious background or they have a new spiritual awakening.

Diane Carbo: And I can tell you, I’ve, I’ve taken care of, and I’m sure you have Dave too, where you’ve taken care of people that are agnostic or atheist. And as they get closer to the end of life, they find God. So I’m all about and maybe it’s bold, but I think that we just need to bring God back into our lives.

Diane Carbo: I don’t care what, in what form? I don’t care what religion, but we need to bring God back into our lives. So I’m really. When I first met you, I said, Hey, there’s something about you. I know we’re going to be working together. And I had no idea when we met at this is what we would be doing, has no idea at all.

Dave Taylor: What with that said I do, I do want to state a couple of things that will kind of lead into your answer to the question, your parenting and that is that the faith gathering. Whether it be a gathering or a belief or, or whatnot, generally, most people who have a faith are associated even loosely with some sort of faith gathered if not firmly, but loosely and those faith gatherings that people are associated with have a role to play in caregiving and that’s vital.

Dave Taylor: And in fact, if it’s a healthy faith gathering the. It should be expected, reasonably expected to touch caregiving in various areas and that’s kind of how we’re building the platform. It’s it’s not like you’ve said, this is not just churches. This is, this platform is focused. Very.

Dave Taylor: Interfaith based, and it can be used anywhere. You know, I’m speaking of any faith we’re talking about Muslims, we’re talking about Christians, Jewish Mormons Jehovah’s witnesses Scientology, Hindu, whatever it might be. We don’t hold any judgment towards any faith whatsoever. We only thing that we care about is the best, most dignified approach that we can use to give people the character.

Dave Taylor: Okay. I, you know, and many, many of today’s corporate gatherings, they have an abundance of members who need care or assistance, but over time, these people they, they moved to home-bound situations and largely they, they vanished from the act of fellowship. That’s you know, is the faith gathering so the support roles throughout the congregation or the, the.

Dave Taylor: Gathering they become limited. And I think that they become limited because of things like physical challenges and things that people don’t know how to manage without the right kind of guidance and education. And I want to tell you a secret today and that is that the faith gathering.

Dave Taylor: That people are associated with. If they don’t find a way to reach out and engage these home bound members they lose opportunities to benefit from their wisdom and their experience in a home-bound members. Fellowship and it’s important. And this it’s an important sense of connectedness that keeps them feeling load and dignified.

Dave Taylor: It causes pain, it causes hurt like in Beverly situation and that you spoke about, you know, and so really the solution is homebound minutes. What did that ministries from? Whatever faith administry is often associated with Christians, but ministry happens in everything and ministry is a term of caring about other people and the kind of programs that we’re talking about.

Dave Taylor: They can bridge this gap. They can make them plug the younger members. We spoke about the youth. You know, the youth not being connected to this generation, they can plug these younger members into building relationships with older members who can’t get out anymore and go to this gathering of faith.

Dave Taylor: But it can also open up options to maintain declining or aging members longer in the fellowship. So not necessarily being stuck in that home bound situation, there’s options that can open up to maintain their them being able to be in the actual, in the fellowship by, you know, adapting to their needs within those gatherings.

Dave Taylor: Too often, however this type of care given caregiving is not recognized by most of the members who come to work. You know, it’s, it’s not they come to the study scripture and make the gathering the center of their lives. So these people that, you know, come to these gatherings for all of these reasons, largely invisible ministry because it’s not like music and children’s ministry and singles ministry and missions, ministry, all those things that.

Dave Taylor: At the center and that’s what everybody sees. So the, the primary mission of all types of faith gatherings at least a healthy one that is is to make disciples. So The next thing is that it must nurture and care for those disciples and equip them to, you know, basically evangelize their, their own corner of the world.

Dave Taylor: Aging, seniors and family caregivers need this nurture and care as well as the equipping. If still attend the faith gathering. Then the fake gathering must attend to them. You know, family caregivers, they need to know that their loved ones are not forgotten by their faith and that their own faith fellowship has not been forgotten as well.

Dave Taylor: So kind of the vision here that we’re building it on is to Keep people included, keep people at their most abundant connection and all the rest of it. I think that it’s gonna work itself out into the very best quality of life for these people.

Diane Carbo: I think one of the things that our approach is going to do, David and Kelly is to The youth or those that don’t need care to prepare them to be caregivers for family members in the future as well, or to learn how to, what to expect when their time comes that they need care.

Diane Carbo: And I think that’s really an important thing that we need to address too. One of the things that I think that we’re doing is we’re going to educate our group. We’re going to develop a list of or create a certification program. Eventually it’s just starting. On different levels of care and how to approach people and how I can see us in the future having businesses or communities.

Diane Carbo: And I’m hoping to do that right here in South Carolina with start here in Myrtle beach or surf side or murals inlet, where we create a care team partner community, whereas the, all the businesses and the community members. Learned about how to approach people or provide services when a person can’t get out of the home or just to give the family caregivers a break.

Diane Carbo: And that’s really important.

Kelly Taylor: Definitely. Yeah.

Diane Carbo: So, Dave any words of wisdom at the or Kelly in regards to can, is there anything you’d like to say to the family caregivers out there?

Dave Taylor: Okay. Kelly, sometimes the market, like I said, she’s, she’s the brains of the operation. It’s a lot of times you hear me talking about she’s, she’s inspired in us. So and sometimes I’m the mouth of the operation I have to think. Okay. So but you know the only thing I can say is that, that. We recognize that what you’re going through as a family, caregiver is difficult.

Dave Taylor: We honor you we know that it’s a difficult job and you do it, not because you’re seeking glory or honor or anything in return, you’re doing it because you, you love them. And oftentimes that’s overlooked. Definitely underpaid. It is Has no glory in it. There’s a lot of mess and, and, and emotion and things that you feel like you don’t have resources and you don’t have people that understand you.

Dave Taylor: And we want you to know that we do understand you. A lot of our, our, our team here with care team partners is has backgrounds in healthcare. They have backgrounds in in counseling in various areas. Have come together into one fluid. I w I’m not even going to call it an organization, even though, you know, it potentially is.

Dave Taylor: It’s an organism. This is a family and wants to wants to help you. Help yourself help you take care of your loved one better through education and through through support, through networking in ways that are condensed in such a way that you might add to go to 10 other places to get that we want to take care of this all in one area and from a holistic, emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual aspect so that you can have not under the best caregiving experience, but your loved one can have the best.

Dave Taylor: Care receipt, you know? Cause they deserve that they deserve the best from you. And sometimes you don’t have everything at your fingertips to give that very best. And we want to help give you that everything at your fingertips type of a platform. Okay.

Diane Carbo: But Dave and Kelly, I’m so excited that you’re going to be working with us.

Diane Carbo: I see a very bright future. I’m going to tell all the caregivers that are out there listening. Please. If you have a church or a community that is interested in learning how to promote a program of care, team partners, contact Dave [email protected] And I am. I end all my podcasts, Dave, with a little message to my caregivers, to the family caregivers out there you are the most important part of the equation without you.

Diane Carbo: It all falls apart. So please practice self care every day. Be gentle with yourself. Learn to be forgiving for yourself. Of yourself and those around you for their shortcomings take care of yourself because you are worth it. Dave and Kelly, I’m looking forward to more talks with you. Dave will be a reg and Kelly will be regular podcast contributors.

Diane Carbo: I’m looking forward to next year.

Diane Carbo: Thank you for joining us today, please. Don’t forget to like share subscribe. If you haven’t signed a petition to advocate for a national strategy to address the caregiving crisis we are facing. Please visit care team partner.org. You will find a place where voices can come together to be heard. We want to share your story supports you along your caregiving journey.

Diane Carbo: With education, training, caregiving, coaching care management, and a respite coalition. Join [email protected] today.

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