Caregiver Support

Judy's Journey: Balancing Care for Elderly Parents with Personal Needs

Judy Morton, who faced financial hardship, family conflict, and the loss of multiple loved ones while caring for her father, uncle, and mother. Act now to support the Family Caregiver Relief Act and improve the lives of caregivers across America.

Diane Carbo

Dec 11, 2022 — 4 min read

Judy's Unwavering Love: A Caregiver's Journey

Judy's heartfelt dedication to caring for her elderly parents paints a poignant picture of the challenges that many caregivers face. These unsung heroes often step up without hesitation to ensure their parents receive the care they deserve. In the beginning, their efforts may seem subtle—regular check-ins, ensuring the home is in order, and simply being there to bring laughter and joy to their aging loved ones. Regrettably, these acts of love can sometimes be misunderstood or mischaracterized as opportunism by those who do not fully grasp the depth of a caregiver's commitment.

As time passes and the elderly parents' health deteriorates, caregivers find themselves dealing with incontinence, challenging behaviors, and the heart-wrenching falls that can accompany old age. Eventually, a terminal diagnosis emerges, often exacerbating existing tensions among siblings, who may view the caregiving sibling with resentment instead of gratitude. This complex web of emotions can lead to feelings of isolation and misunderstanding.

Seeking help and understanding from organizations like elder ombudsman offices can sometimes prove frustratingly futile, as Judy experienced. The lack of support for family counseling adds to the burden caregivers bear, leaving them to navigate these challenges largely on their own.

Yet, caregivers persevere, driven by an unwavering commitment to their loved ones. When their parents pass away, they hold onto the knowledge that they did the right thing. Still, the longing for societal awareness and change remains, urging them to share their stories, like Judy's, to illuminate the trials they've endured.

Judy's own journey began when her father was diagnosed with cancer, prompting her to take a leave of absence to provide him with comfort and security. Her selflessness extended to other family members, becoming the go-to caregiver whenever someone needed help. Despite her dedication, she faced misunderstandings from her siblings, who believed her childless status made caregiving "natural" for her. Her husband also felt the strain of her commitments.

In time, Judy found herself caring for her uncle and taking on the role of Power of Attorney for her frail and ailing mother, who battled Parkinson's disease. Her responsibilities grew as her mother's health deteriorated, culminating in a prolonged battle against financial exploitation.

After her mother's passing, Judy faced the challenges of reentering the workforce. With her husband now battling cancer, the strain on Judy's life and finances grew more pronounced. Her story, while heart-wrenching, is a stark reminder of the immense burden caregivers carry.

The growing wave of Baby Boomers entering their senior years highlights the pressing need for comprehensive solutions to support caregivers. Our presidential candidates must recognize that a generation of caregivers, already burdened by caring for their parents, is at risk of financial, emotional, and familial breakdowns. It's imperative for candidates to address these issues and devise plans that allow caregivers to sustain themselves financially while simultaneously alleviating the strain on federal resources.

Judy's story is not fiction; it's a reflection of the challenges that countless caregivers face daily. The need for change is pressing, and our presidential candidates must respond with comprehensive solutions to support caregivers in their noble and often self-sacrificing roles. The future of caregiving depends on it.