Dealing with Caregiver Burden: My Grandmother's Negative Behaviors Affecting My Children
Navigating dementia and difficult behaviors can be overwhelming for caregivers. Learn more about managing the burden and finding resources to help you and your family in this personal account and list of 100 dementia caregiving tips.
Maura writes,
Though I'd rather not label it a "caregiver burden," my current situation is far from what I had anticipated. My decision to move my family into my grandmother's house and invest over $100K in renovations was motivated by her unwavering support and care throughout my life.
My immediate family includes two young children, two teenagers, and a supportive husband. However, we've encountered a significant hurdle: my grandmother's declining mental health due to dementia. Her behavior has become increasingly challenging, as she wrongly accuses my children of theft and of letting the dog escape. Often, she takes my daughter's baby dolls and claims them as her own, leaving my youngest child in tears.
Despite her condition, my mother and her sisters have refused to offer assistance or support.
Recently, my grandmother's behavior took a distressing turn when she began disrobing and wandering around the house unclothed. I find myself redressing her over 20 times a day. Adding to the complexity of the situation is the fact that the house is still in my grandmother's name, and I lack any legal documentation confirming her intent to have us live here to provide care.
At this juncture, I'm feeling lost and apprehensive. It appears that selling my home, which is also my grandmother's home, might be necessary to fund her placement in a nursing home. Medicaid Asset Protection should be considered in this process.
For now, I'm taking each day as it comes, striving to provide the care she needs to keep her at home and not risk losing everything.
Response
Maura,
On the matter of your situation, I'd recommend promptly scheduling an appointment with an elder care attorney. Laws regarding house ownership and caregiving provisions differ by state, and you might be eligible to keep the house based on your care and residency. Explore options for Medicaid Waiver program in your area.
Considering the challenges you're facing, it's essential to seek help within your community. Investigate whether there are any available services through a Medicaid Waiver program that could provide support.
Additionally, if your grandmother or her husband served in the military, consider exploring Veteran's benefits that may offer assistance.
Regarding her challenging behaviors, especially given the presence of children in the house, it will be a tough road ahead. One approach to manage her disrobing behavior is to create a fidget apron. You can make one by placing an old dress shirt on her backward over her clothing, with added buttons, velcro straps, a large, bulky zipper, and pockets on the back. This will keep her hands occupied, potentially reducing the urge to disrobe.
Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources and professionals who can assist you during this trying time. Medicaid Asset Protection can play a vital role in securing your grandmother's future care while preserving your family's well-being.
Warm Regards ,
Diane Carbo RN
Diane Carbo
Diane Carbo
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